Love and life. How they always seem to go hand in hand and pull the rug out from under your feet when you least expect it. Love. Maybe it’s meant to be undefined. There are all sorts. You don’t just end up with a love that is passionate and mutual at the same time. There is no straight path nor short-cut that draws the ones who will love you back, the ones with no buts and the ones with whom you can be happy with. Life will definitely throw every wicked curveball into your path to tear and pull your love and you apart. There is never a guarantee that your heart will remain in one piece and not be torn into pieces.
Granted that life will in general be so much simpler if we were all capable of finding mad, all-consuming, lasting and reciprocated love amidst a sea of strangers on the first try. How nice it will be if a love independent of time and space existed. Will it? I beg to differ. Will things honestly be better if it all went accordingly to how we wanted? Given the choice, would we know then what we now know? Maybe the order of life lies in disorder. The struggle, the experience, the memories built. To put ourselves out there, take risks, make mistakes and to love with everything we have. The convoluted nataure of humanity seems to complexify and in turn result in making love seem so complicated when in reality it’s all pretty simple.
Love when there is love to be had, because a perfect love does not exist. It is all in your head and what you build up is often merely expectations based on your own sole experiences and perspectives. When someone loves you, you will know. Sometimes they aren’t sure if they love you and you see them going back and forth tryna figure it out. Love isn’t math. It isn’t a mystery to be uncovered. It just simply is. And all we really have to do is to let it unfold or to accept the lack thereof.
No two people are ever the same and in turn, no relationship will ever be the same. I believe we all ought to be with someone who wants to be with us as well. It is a journey to learn and to accept the love we aren’t given. To realize that even though we might put someone on a pedestral, that their judgement does not define our worth nor does it place a tag on our value. It is merely a mindset that has to be changed in order for us to exorcist the demons that hide inside.
People can love you a little. They can love you a lot. They can also just love you but not enough to want things to work out. It never was an all or nothing concept. You don’t need somebody’s love to feel whole. You don’t need someone’s assurance to feel good. You need your own love. You need to learn to let yourself go on. Their love is not what holds us back. It is only you. What you believe is what holds you back or pushes you on.
Have faith and love with everything you have. Because if love existed within a vacuum, I will never have found out the depth and the extent to which my heart was capable of giving and enduring. I will never have known what could tear me apart and what could as easily build me up. I will never have known love as I know it now.
