Baptised at birth; over the years my journey with him wasn’t the smoothest to say the least. I remember feeling like maybe he wasn’t listening or maybe I was a fool to place my trust on something so intangible.
And through the years I used to feel it seems as though what I prayed for never seemed to come to fruit. I remember how I prayed and asked for what I wanted in different ways and yet the only thing that seemed to happen was that the obstacles in life got tougher and tougher!
I thought I was being stupid to believe. I felt frustrated and lost. After years (and multiple praying repeatedly for the same thing in different manner) it hit me he knew what I truly desired before I could put them to words. All the years of trials and tribulations were to prepare me.
Truth is .. he might not always give me what I ask for and the underlying message could be that it isn’t about what I want to tell him but being open and listening to his replies. I learnt instead of asking for what I wanted? I prayed for strength, for wisdom, for faith and hope to trust him. And in that process; he gave me what I needed to heal and be whole again: he taught me how to let go, to let god.
And I’m thankful that in letting go and letting him? Today I have what I prayed for back then. And I’m gonna trust, have faith and keep striving to live and love as he showed us.
