Fitness and it’s vast positive impact on my life. It is in itself an extremely important pivotal point in my life. In the course of the past 8 months or so, my fitness journey is one of complete commitment as compared to before. In the 8 months I grew in awareness of the impact of what I eat and how it in turn affects my physical state and interlinks to how I feel and how it affects my day. I grew in awareness and appreciation for the term “discipline”. I follow through with my goals with a tighter grip on following up and reflecting on where I can do better. I learnt life lessons one of which is that despite the innate human tendency to seek validation; I am happy that I am growing in self-awareness and look to internalization instead.
Weighing at 41-43 kg at 5 ft 3 I was underweight and skinny till February 2013. Then after in the course of a couple of months I gained a hefty 8-10 kg due to an unhealthy lifestyle of late nights and alcohol. Mid July 2013, I took my first step to up my usual fitness regime which consisted of a mix of running and cardio to include weights, HIIT and crossfit. The rest as they say is history. I never looked back. I gave up on my unhealthy binge drinking habits. I redirected my pent-up frustrations, built up insecurities and my lack of knowing myself to being the best I can be.
Words on it’s own would never be able to express my journey. It isn’t as simple as saying “oh, I have changed for the better”. We aren’t good and bad. There’s no black and white just various shades of grey. All that I can say is fitness realigned me and made it clear to me on what was important in my life and what wasn’t. I still have the occasional nights out with my mates. I still falter and there are days when I get frustrated from telling myself “push harder, it’ll get better”. But that is the beauty of life and lessons learnt.
I understand now that there are no mistakes. For when you grasp the lesson behind each course of action, it serves you and that is not a mistake. My competition is myself. My journey? My own. I look to being better than I was before. However minute the change, it is a change nonetheless. I will keep being the best I can be, constantly discover myself and keep on the journey of learning, unlearning and relearning. I choose happy. I choose to be unapologetically me.
