Settings seemingly all set on replay. The scene somewhat similar and yet different. Close to twenty years ago, family outings were a weekly affair. Along the way, they got lesser and lesser as my family’s financial status got more and more turbulent growing up.
Instead? Family arguments were aplenty, quarrels leading to slammed doors, silent wars eventually leading to divorce.
And growing up? I failed to recognise curveballs were tossed into my life not because I was not deserving nor was it because my family didn’t love me unconditionally.
Life merely dealt us tough cards. I chose to run away then. I took the easier route with least resistance.
Gave myself reasons from my family breaking apart to my parents not being able to provide – I had quite the entitled mindset – and every crossroad when I “nearly succeeded, could have done better” was seemingly because of something or someone else.
I failed to see it. If anything? I refused to acknowledge it. Because to recognise it was to jump both feet in and recognise that growing up I had bad money habits. That I was brought up living a lifestyle that my family could not sustain and I got used to that life.
It’s been years since. And for a long time I got used to “having a lot of potential” and believing someday, things will work out. Funny how I had such optimism whilst refusing to put in the work.
Now? Close to twenty years later …. I’m thankful for the fact my parents provided me with a lifestyle beyond their means as I grew up because it meant exposing me to a lifestyle where many have drive and ambition. I am thankful for the quarrels and disagreements in my family. It taught me how to be mindful people might have different perspectives but fundamentally similar needs.
I’m thankful for the debts I got into from the various businesses I got into because it taught me the importance of healthy money habits from having financial literacy to not hoping to make a quick buck the fast way. I’m thankful for the breakdowns and distance my family had in the last couple of years. It made me learn how to be more in tune with my inner self and to accept that family mattered a lot to me. (Quite contrary to how I brushed it off over the years)
And I am thankful by choosing to find mentors and being open? I can now provide for my family. More importantly? I am in a position where as I grow in self awareness, my family grows. Because now? Time spent with my family can be focused on growing together and appreciating our differences. I am thankful because if things haven’t fallen apart? I would not learn the intrinsic value of money and what money truly means to me: the ability to make my loved ones smile, to take their troubles away.
Life seems same as before the choppy waves of life cut in and yet? Oh so different.
And I am thankful.
